Gatekeeping Recovery

For most of my adult life, I lived in two worlds. In one, I was a dedicated professional in the mental health and addiction field. In the other, I was a person in recovery who felt I had to stay "closeted" because my path didn’t look like the one in the brochures.

I didn’t go through a traditional treatment center. I didn’t find my peace in 12-step rooms. I didn’t rely on a faith-based community.

And for a long time, that made me feel like a fraud.

In our profession, there is a pervasive culture of gatekeeping. We are often told there is a "right" way to get sober, and if you don't follow the formula, your recovery is somehow less valid. Because my journey was non-traditional, I became even more guarded as I grew in my career. I feared the judgment of my peers more than the struggle itself.

The Turning Point

This is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and it’s a time that holds the key to my entire recovery. My addiction—which manifested first through exercise, then through severe food restriction, and finally through substances—was never actually about the "stuff."

It was about control. It was a desperate attempt to manage an internal discomfort I felt I had no power over.

My recovery didn't start with a program. It started when a mental health professional looked at me and said the most profound words I have ever heard:

"It wasn’t your fault. It’s not yours to own."

Addressing my trauma was the first time the needle actually moved. I realized then that I wasn’t a "broken addict"; I was a survivor who had found ways to endure.

A Mission of Radical Acceptance

As a counselor and a human being, my mission is simple: To ensure no one ever feels judged by me the way I felt judged by the world.

Recovery looks different for EVERYONE. Your journey is unique to YOU. No two paths into addiction are the same, and no two paths out are either. April is my reminder that I am not just a survivor; I am thriving. If your path is messy, non-traditional, or "quiet," know that it is still valid. You don't need to fit into a box to deserve a life of freedom.

#SAAM #RecoveryIsPossible #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthMatters #TraumaInformed #PathwaysToRecovery